Unlocking the power of learning to love yourself first.

Love yourself first

At the beginning of this year I decided that I was going to dip my toe into the wonderful world of Online dating. As a 37 year old Woman, with two teenage boys who hadn’t dated since her early twenties it was safe to say that boy was I behind the times! And let me tell you, if you are reading this safely wrapped up in the arms of a long-term relationship IT IS A WHOLE NEW WORLD (and not at all like Aladdins rendition on the magic carpet!).

I am not going to go into the ins and outs of my experiences, I am leaving that safely in the knowledge of my beautiful friends, who have supported me through the catfishes, dates, situationships (yes that is a thing - have a google!). But what I did want to share with you all is the main lesson I have learnt so far…

The importance of loving yourself first. 

This may sound like an odd lesson to learn, and counterproductive when surely dating is all about meeting someone, who further down the line M A Y B E you can love, and build a future with? 

And here lies the tricky part… Yes I still believe in the apps, and the opportunities and potential they provide for communication and connection. There are genuine people out there, looking to meet, and date - I have met some of them and I promise you they are real!!! However, the apps also make it very, very easy for people to be unkind and ruthless with not much thought to the person behind the profile AND this is where learning to love yourself first becomes so important. 

Learning to love yourself first means that you are not searching for that outward validation, you have it already - from yourself! Inward validation is all about honoring and acknowledging your strengths, your achievements, your emotions, your worth - instead of giving someone else that power. In the Online dating world it means you aren’t looking for someone to complete you, or to be your whole new world (Sorry Aladdin). It means you are looking for someone to add extra value, and that perspective makes such a difference to your mindset. 

And do you want to know the best bit? It is something you can apply to all aspects of your life - Why not try loving yourself a little more first and see where it takes you? 

So here is a little daily affirmation just for you: Today I promise to love myself first. 

For more daily affirmations come and follow me on IG HERE x

P.s For those reading this who are in the midst of Online dating I am already laughing at the irony of Aladdin being one of the biggest Catfishes of them all - Oh Disney!